joe madness and stadium nostalgia

so joe and i text everyday usually for a couple of hours. we talk about lots of nonsense things. it helps to pass the time. i actually hung out with him yesterday. i titled this joe madness in both senses of the phrase.

lets examine this madness as anger first. you know my earlier qualms about joe and how he treats me. he treats me really nice, and we spend lots of time together, but, i admit that at the end of hanging out with him i wanna punch something, or at least shout out profanity. he is one of my friends though, and i do enjoy seeing him, i just wish that he realized what was going on. first of all, he's getting married, and his fiance is 2,000+ miles away. it's not fair to her to not tell her that we hang out all the time, and it's not fair to me knowing that he doesn't tell her that, or that we do hang out. i'm not without blame here myself, i know that, but i thought that i would just let you all in on the secret. i suppose this is where i get into the crazy sort of madness. it's not as though i still like joe, that ended a while ago.

things will change when he gets married though, and he has to come to the realization that he's chosen his best friend for life, the person that he's going to spend the rest of his life with, and it isn't me, and i'm just fine with that. and even though i am still here, i can't ever be on the same level of friendship as him and his spouse are. it's what happened when the rest of my family members have gotten married. i'm no longer their confidant, or i am, but not to the same degree as before.

i suppose that i should feel relieved about this, knowing that sooner or later, joe will stop telling me all his secrets, and then i don't know what kind of friendship we'll have. it will be the same, but not really. like i said, madness in both senses right:)

as for the stadium of nostalgia, i had to go to the stadium last night. i was going for university band. fred made me the section leader, and as i was walking up to the stadium, i had a brief instant of nostalgia. all i could think of was sunny days at band camp, football season, afternoon rehearsals, great friendships, and just all around awesomeness!

until later though, i'm signing off! remember that i love you all, and don't forget to be awesome!